stress

oh my god! i look at my schduele i feel damn stress sia!! i tink my whole holiday is packed already!! dun tink can even pick up driving! shit! alamak!! arrrrhhhhhhhh!!
just finished the first day of the teambuilding workshop/camp thing. wah lao! further emphasis the freaking fact that i'm suffering from quater life crisis!!
-_- all the not stretching myself enough, all the never achieve any single shit in the past 20 years. n all the talk that SMU is supposed to have students that are different (i'm like so not different lar). stress sia!! aiyah dunno what i have been doing in the past 20 years man! sianz... planning for all the goals all those. I tried but apparently i'm not discipline to keep to it. so i seriously doubt the impact of this workshop on me... hopefully this time will be different. I realli dun wanna die without achieving anything sia~~ bleah... can't really see myself ten years down the road. I seriously dun even know what i wanna achieve! hmmm... n i'm super fickle so my goals like always change.
hmmm... toking about change. i tink it's time to evaluate if smu did change me a little..
i have not realli changed lar actualli ... still as haggard as usual... despite smu being the 'dress until nicey nice kinda school' Amazing sia!! haha
+ the fact that i'm still as luan qi ba zao n not realli caught up in the competition <--this explains my super lousy n shitty results! next term must freaking change!!! pls i need to start feeling the urgency to work harder!!
ehh... the ways that i think i changed...
1. i dun get so damn nervous when i speak up. okie i still get nervous but not damn nervous. like last time the heartbeat will go up to like 150 per min.... now it tink it onli goes up to 85-90 lidat. an improvement lar.
2. i become more anti social... during this holidays den i realised i din realli like make friends in smu... i mean minimal n i oso dunno whether they are more of acquaintances or wad... i tink i should seriously change my attitude. i dun make the effort to make new friends. No doubt about that. too caught up in my own little world n totally oblivous of the word called networking...:(
hahaa aniwae... i have to figure out how i'll go tink about my future. i have been postponing it from like april... til now. hopefully i can find some time tonight to tink a little about it. or maybe i'll be like spending my time painting my nails. it has been naked for quite a while. this explains how 'free' i am!! haha kk!! shall go take a bath b4 deciding on wad to do!!
:P